So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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