and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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