Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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