i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
