I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
