Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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