So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
