hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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