oh fat girl friday strikes again...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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