It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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