Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
