I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think my vagina is haunted
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
