So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She bit a glass in half.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
