A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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