haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
