Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
