I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
