He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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