plz talk dirty to me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
