how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You took a bar mat shot.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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