So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
