Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
