I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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