Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
