My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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