She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
NoShamevember. You game?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
