I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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