carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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