My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
