He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
