My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
