They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
