im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Randomize
