I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
