I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
