can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
