I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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