Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
