Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
