He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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