Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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