im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
