cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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