One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
