I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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