If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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