I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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