maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
