youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
