After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
