i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
