D3 body, D1 cock
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Can I color on your dick again?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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